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I’m back in Britain for a long Christmas break. The streets are full of fairy lights, trees are in windows and everything is covered with a thin layer of snow.
The shops – busy as ever, despite the recession – play an endless stream of Christmas songs. Noddy Holder must make a packet.
It was similar in Nairobi as I was doing last bits of shopping before coming home for Christmas. It was impossible to go to Nakumatt without hearing Cliff Richard’s ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ or The Pogues’ ‘Fairytale of New York’. Someone had clearly bought a Christmas greatest hits song and stuck it on repeat.
So, while standing in the queue I heard a classic from 1984 booming out. Do they know it’s Christmas? Yes. Yes, they do.
Just in case you’re ever stuck in a queue at an African supermarket at Christmastime and want to sing along, here are the lyrics…
It’s Christmastime / There’s no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer / Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window / And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows / No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?
(Here’s to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here’s to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?
Feed the world / Feed the world / Feed the world
Let them know it’s Christmastime again
Feed the world
Let them know it’s Christmastime again
I began this blog just over a year ago. I had just left The Independent to start working on a book about African football and wanted an outlet to occasionally vent, make the odd witty remark, or post a bit of analysis.
The book is now all but finished – available in good bookshops (and bad) in May – and I’m now trying to work out what to do next. I’ll carry on writing for Monocle and in the run up to the World Cup I’ll be writing and talking about African football to a rather unhealthy degree. After that, who knows? I think I’ll carry on blogging though. Whether it’s getting into a transatlantic row over Darfur or discovering I’m not the only one that finds Nairobi’s traffic jams interesting, I’ve rather enjoyed it.
So for all those who have read and commented over the past year, thank you. The site is going though a slight redesign to make it look a bit nicer but other than that nothing much will change. I’ll still post irregularly, I’ll still make hypocritical comments about bad journalism, and I’ll still use the same title which one reader in Sierra Leone correctly charactised as “a bit wanky”.
Cheers,
Steve
I’m confused. According to The Times there is a famine in Ethiopia which the government is trying to cover up. The Independent on Sunday also thinks there’s a famine. Its sister paper, the Independent, isn’t so sure. And while the Times’ headline may have used the f-word, there is no trace of it in the article itself.
On his Aid Watch blog (which occasionally gets a little smug but is usually pretty good), Bill Easterly bemoans the famine troika of exaggerating NGOs, defensive governments and credulous media which makes it “tragically difficult to know when tragedy is happening”.
The credulous media is the biggest problem. They (we) are the guide which is supposed to tell us whether the NGOs are exaggerating or the governments are lying. But how many journalists writing about famine know what a famine actually is? As Easterly points out, the media is often “unable to handle subtleties like chronic food insecurity and chronic malnutrition vs. emergency famine.”
But it’s not that hard. The Food Security and Nutrition Analysis Unit in Nairobi tracks food availability in Somalia. In its recent report on the 2009 Gu rains (or lack of) the FSNAU includes a definition of the five stages of food security from 1 (Generally Food Secure) to 5 (Famine / Humanitarian Catastrophe). Here’s what phase five means:
So if an NGO claims there is a famine, ask them: what is the crude mortality rate? What is the level of acute malnutrition? What availability is there to food and water? Then compare it to the definitions.
Famine has a specific meaning. It is not a shorthand for “hungry people in Africa”.
Angola’s president, Jose Eduardo dos Santos, has called for a crackdown on government corruption:
“Irresponsible people, people of bad faith, have taken advantage… to squander resources and to carry out illicit and even damaging and fraudulent acts of management.”
One of his first tasks will be to recover the $56 million placed in an offshore account belonging to a Mr Jose Eduardo dos Santos of Luanda, Angola.
He may also want to look into the ‘Angolagate’ scandal. Court papers revealed that a man known as “Jose Eduardo dos Santos” was among those who received millions of dollars in bribes.
While he’s at it he should probably investigate how $1bn a year of Angola’s oil money has gone missing every year since 1996. He should start by asking the man who was president during that time where all the money went.
The name escapes me, but I’m sure he’s not too hard to track down.
The immigration official who stamped by passport was smoking. The two policemen standing near the immigration counter were smoking. The porter who tried to carry my bag was smoking. The woman who organised my taxi was smoking. The taxi driver offered me a cigarette and seemed upset when I refused.
A big ‘no smoking’ sign, about five-foot wide, greeted me as I stepped off the plane. I don’t think the message has got through yet.
No story about Somali pirates is complete without a suitably bloodcurdling quote from a cutlass-wielding Jack Sparrow wannabe. Luckily for journalists there are plenty of Somalis willing to pretend to be pirates spokesmen for us to choose from.
Following the kidnapping of Paul and Rachel Chandler, a British couple sailing from Seychelles to Tanzania, the pirate PRs have been out in force. By my count 11 people has so far claimed to be spokesmen for the pirates and had their quotes faithfully recorded in the western media.
Here’s your rundown of pirate spokesmen. Must rush, I’m waiting on a call from a pirate spokesman who goes by the name Abu Sharati.
Nor Abdiwali in The Independent
“Anyone who tries [a] rescue will kill the ones they want to rescue,” said Nor Abdiwali, who claims to be the commander of the group holding the Chandlers, in an interview with The Independent yesterday. “Our guns will randomly exterminate them. We are not afraid and we [have] kept them in a safe place,” he added.
Mohamed Shakir in The Independent
According to one report a “pirate leader” called Mohamed Shakir called from Haradheere to say: “We have captured two old British people, a man and a woman in the Indian Ocean. They were on a small boat that we have hijacked. The people are healthy and they are in our hands.”
Abdinor in The Guardian
A spokesman for the pirates, who identified himself only by his first name, Abdinor, said the couple would be moved to a ship anchored off the coast of Somalia. He said it would be safer for the couple to be kept on a ship with other hostages.
Hassan in The Times
A pirate called Hassan said: “We warn them any attack on us, this is a good advice for them, otherwise they will burn their two people’s bones. If warships surround us, we shall point our guns at the British tourists. They are old and we will take care of them — that is if we are not attacked.”
Red Teeth in The New York Times
A Somali pirate boss named Red Teeth said Saturday that his gang of pirates had whisked the British couple kidnapped at sea last month to a lair on shore, and apparently the pirates have begun bickering among themselves about what to do next.
Farah Siad in The Daily Telegraph
A spokesman for the pirates told The Daily Telegraph that the couple are unharmed and promised to treat them well unless a military rescue operation was launched. Farah Siad, speaking from the pirate stronghold of Harardhere town, Somalia, said: “This message should be heard by Britain, we will do many harmful things to them if rescue attempts take place.”
Warmoge in The Sunday Times
“We can defend ourselves and, if there is an attack on us, the captives will die before us,” said Warmoge, a pirate who was in the group that captured Paul, a structural engineer, and Rachel, an economist.
Ahmed Gadaf in The Sunday Times
Yesterday Ahmed Gadaf, who claimed to speak for the gang, accused western vessels of “harassing local fishermen and destroying their nets”.
Mohamed Hussein on Sky News
“We are telling Britain that any bullet of our friends on the yacht will be big cries for the families of the two old people we hold.”
Gedow on Sky News
Talking to a Sky News reporter Gedow insisted he was a voluntary coastguard and the Chandlers were seized as a precaution against “international violators”. Gedow said: “Our naval forces met them in the deep ocean, but it was the Somali ocean. ”They didn’t have permission to sail in the Somali waters, so that is why we captured them.”
Shamum Indhobur to EFE, the Spanish news agency
In one call, a pirate who gave his name as Shamum Indhobur, reportedly told the Spanish news agency EFE that any rescue attempt on either vessel would result in suffering for those aboard the other. ”We have the Spanish ship and this new yacht, and we warn naval forces that they must avoid any military action, because if one is attacked, we will punish those from the other,” he said in a call from Harardhere, a Somali pirate haven.
Ahmed Sheikh to AFP
Ahmed Sheikh, who claimed to be a member of the gang, reportedly told the French news agency AFP that about 60 gunmen had arrived in Harardhere to protect the pirates, adding: “We have made proper contact with the boat and everybody is OK. The hostages’ fate will be discussed when the boat gets here.”
Kudos to the Indy and AFP for using the word ‘claimed’.
Another week, another Africa blog row. This one was set off rather innocently by Shashank Bengali who pointed out a poster for the upcoming disaster movie, 2012.
He wrote:
“An American friend saw this poster in the lobby and said: “Hey, a movie about the next Kenyan election!”
I laughed. Our three Kenyan friends didn’t.
The comments started off supportive but quickly degenerated.
Gee wrote:
“The problem with Kenya is that everyone’s an expert, and usually not Kenyan.”
Then Kenyachick added:
“I’m so bored with foreign comments about Africa. Give it a rest.”
And finally The Patriot weighed in with a 300 words tirade which ended:
“So please shut up and enjoy the suburbs and multiplex movie theaters and the 4 X 4.”
None of them are trying to argue about the message. They are effectively saying: “Yes, our country may be in trouble but who the hell are you to point it out?”
In a way it’s understandable. Kenya is a former colony, which gained independence only after fighting a war of liberation. For the past 40-odd years a procession of foreigners have been telling Kenyan leaders what to do – sometimes for good reasons, often for bad. While I don’t mind having an argument with a Kenyan about British politics I might feel differently if Kenya had drawn the UK’s borders, repressed and killed our people and still gave its opinion on our budget.
But just because it’s understandable doesn’t mean it’s right.
There is a strain of African populism that seeks to pin blame on the West whenever possible. Mugabe regularly rails against “imperialists” and “bloody whites”. Moussa Dadis Camara, the leader of Guiena’s junta, did it last week after the French foreign minister, Bernard Kouchner, had called for an international intervention following the slaughter of more than 150 pro-democracy protesters in Conakry:
“Guinea is not a district of France. When the French foreign minister says something like that, this is a way of denigrating the people of Africa.”
Here in Kenya the US ambassador, Michael Ranneberger, has faced criticism from some members of the Kenyan government after threatening 15 politicians and businessmen with visa bans. One assistant minister, Kareke Mbiuki, said:
“We are a sovereign State and the US must stop its arrogance and let us govern ourselves without undue pressure.”
Kenya is in a bad shape. It is ranked number 14 in a list of global failed states, there have been no political reforms since the last election, and militias are allegedly rearming in the Rift Valley.
I fail to see what’s wrong about pointing that out whether you are Caroline Mutoko or Kofi Annan, Mwalimu Mati or Shashank Bengali.
What’s most depressing about this debate is that no one has looked at that poster and said “don’t be ridiculous, that could never happen.”
Writers won’t believe they have made it until they get commissioned by the New Yorker or Rolling Stone.
If you’re a blogger who writes about human rights or development issues then you haven’t made it until Wronging Rights say something nice about you or ask you to write a guest post.
I’m still waiting for the call from the New Yorker but the lovely people at Wronging Rights had no such qualms. More fool them. My piece on what the Abu Sharati case says about the state of journalism is here.
The so-called liquid bombers, the men who allegedly planned to blow up a handful of transatlantic flights, are sentenced today. Their legacy lives on in the most unlikely of places.
Ivory Coast’s domestic route between Abidjan and San Pedro is not a likely terrorist target. There were four other people on my flight: a French couple going on holiday (San Pedro has great beaches, apparently) and two middle-aged men who worked in cocoa (San Pedro is also the heart of Cote d’Ivoire’s cocoa industry).
As I clung to my half-drunk bottle of water at the check-in desk a tired looking security guard insisted I hand it over before I could board the flight. “Security,” he said, as I swigged what was left.
He didn’t seem so interested in my bag, though. It beeped as I walked through the scanner but he just waved me through.
I’ve been in Cote d’Ivoire for the past few days. Two differences between Francophone and Anglophone Africa stand out already:
- The presidential palace in Abidjan is linked to the French embassy via an underground tunnel
- The building I’m staying in is named after Francois Mitterand
I can’t imagine Kenya having a secret tunnel between State House and the British High Commission or Uganda naming a residential block after Margaret Thatcher
